Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Total grammar fail

A few weeks ago I was making fun of Philip because I thought he said "I'd just assume we go to City Cafe for dinner."
"Did you just say 'assume,' doctor?" I asked.

You see if something involves numbers or saving lives, I am and will always remain in the large, dome-shaped shadow of my egghead husband's big brain. I must get my kicks in some other manner, and that manner is by using my rapidly declining grammar and spelling skills against my husband so I can feel smart for about two seconds until he multipies 12 by 182 in his head.

But I digress. As it turns out, he did said "as soon," and not "assume." So I sadly retreated and sheathed my shiny, sharp grammar sword. I'd live to fight another day.

Then, to my dismay, I was whacked with the blunt edge of grammar karma today at the gym. Two ladies walked by me on the indoor track. One said to the other, "For all intents and purposes, I think this is best." What did she say? I clearly heard "intents and purposes," not "intensive purposes," unfortunately for me. Wow, intents and purposes makes *so* much more sense than intensive purposes. Many is the time I wondered about those intensive purposes. I mean, exactly how intense were these purposes? It all seemed very dramatic and laden with responsibility. And thus, because I have never had much intensive purpose, I've rarely used the phrase. I think.

However, I still wonder how many times and to how many people have I said "for all intensive purposes" to? Oh dear God. I have a journalism degree and an English minor. I wrote literary theory papers on Foucault (bastard) and Derrida. The horror, the horror.

I am debating whether or not I will tell Philip about this, because I know he will get such a kick out of it. In the meantime, I've discovered something that I do with what I would consider "intensive purpose": scout for houses in our future Southern locale.

1 comment:

  1. Do not let that episode dee-ter you. Oh, and by the way, you maid an error in the third paragraph--you said "said," instead of "say."

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